MOTHERF#%&ER!

“By day’s end, I will have my laugh at all of you.”

So Lindsay Lohan’s getting out of jail. Momen-fucking-tarily. TMZ reports:

Judge Fox ruled earlier today … Lindsay could be held without bail. But apparently the Judge’s ruling flies in the face of California law, which gives defendants the right to bail in misdemeanor cases.
Judge Patricia Schnegg, Assistant Supervising Judge for the L.A. County Criminal Courts, just threw Judge Fox’s bail decision out the window. Judge Schnegg has set bail at $300,000.
Lindsay, who is in Lynwood Jail right now, should get out soon … probably in a few hours.

As a small consolation, Lindsay is forced to wear a SCRAM device again which would be awesome if, oh I dunno, anklets had the ability to prevent drug addicts from hitting baby strollers with a moving vehicle. Last I checked they mostly just dangle around your foot, but maybe science’s advanced since the last time I saw one. At any rate, I’ll be planting large quantities of explosives in the San Andreas fault and praying to a God who clearly doesn’t exist to help me exact his vengeance on a modern day Gomorrah. Adieu.

(Side Note: I am never doing a Quote of the Day post again. Seriously, if I had a daughter, that thing would be in her bedroom right now. That’s how bad it backfired.)